How has it been to return to Burundi? I have been searching that answer in my heart.
“It’s OK, not great, but OK.”
Over the past 12 months I’ve spent more time in Kansas than I have in Burundi. My return to Burundi has me searching to reclaim a once familiar rhythm. Of course, the events of the past 6 months have me looking at Burundi through a different lens.
Trust has been difficult for me as I re-enter Burundi. I do not like it, but I can feel it. I feel it when I look at people and places. Walls of protection have risen in me. I’m sure they’ve always been there in one form or another, but it feels like they have inched higher for now. I am unclear as to what those walls are there to protect in me.
Is it a survival response? Is it to protect my heart?
Is it to protect my pride? Is it saving me from looking foolish?
Those strongholds of distrust have been in our human nature since Genesis 3. Even the disciples, who walked in-step with the Messiah on earth, had to learn to trust over time. It seems it was a constant journey for even Jesus’ closest friends. I am no different. I wrestle with the cloudy words and actions of the human condition, of which I am included, and look to the one who never breaks His promises.
My prayers over these past weeks are in the Psalms.
Psalm 9:10 “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.”
Psalm 19:7 “Instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.”
